Friday, December 28, 2007

Top 20 Engineers' Terminologies And What They Really Mean

1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED

-- We are basically p*ssing in the wind.

2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM
-- We just hired three kids fresh out of college.

3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION
-- We know who to blame.

4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH
-- It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.

5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION AS DELIVERED IS ASSURED
-- We are so far behind schedule that the customer is happy to get it delivered.

6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE
-- The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.

7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING
-- We are so surprised that the stupid thing even works.

8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED
-- The only person who understood the thing quit.

9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS
-- It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.

10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT
-- Forget it! We have enough problems for now.

11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL
-- Let's spread the responsibility for the screw-up.

12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING
-- We'll listen to what you have to say... as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.

13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION
-- I can't wait to hear this bull!

14. SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS
-- Come into my office, I'm lonely.

15. ALL NEW
-- Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.

16. RUGGED
-- Too darn heavy to lift!

17. LIGHTWEIGHT
-- Lighter than RUGGED.

18. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT
-- One finally worked.

19. ENERGY SAVING
-- Achieved when the power switch is off.

20. LOW MAINTENANCE
-- Impossible to fix if broken.

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